Remembering someone’s name is really important, we know this, it’s essential in knowing you’re liked and valued enough to have your name remembered and young people need this so much. Years ago, names were way simpler, it was rare that you met someone with a name that you’d never heard before, unless you lived in a more multicultural area and we all laughed when Hollywood stars would call their kids weird names… Oh how things have changed! Seems like not only are new names coming thick and fast, but variations of names have become so common that it’s even harder in today’s world to remember young people’s names!
So what can we do? Here’s a few tips to help, then it’s practice, practice, practice!!!
- Catch and Repeat. The first time they say their name is always most important, make sure you catch it and repeat it straight away and then again a few times in conversation so it starts to stick. Also check if they’re happy for you to abbreviate their name or not.
- Get it right. If their name is new to you or difficult to pronounce, spend time making sure you get it right. Say things like ‘did you say….’ Or ‘that a really unique name, how do you pronounce that again?’ Repeat the name and try sounding it out in your mind slowly so each syllable sticks. This could also be a good opportunity to find out different things about them, like why their parents called them that, what their families background is, a nick name or tips on how other people have remembered their name… seriously, if people have a hard name, they know how to help you!!
- Relate their name to someone you know. This is a favourite of mine, by thinking of another person with the same name every time you see this new person, you instantly remember their name.
- Linking to a place or memory. If you don’t know someone else with the same name, try linking their name to a movie character, place or people group. I met a Logan the other day and thought of Wolverine… takes a few seconds to make the link, but it works. I met a girl called Sharnee and I think of Native American Indian – Sharman and connect that way.
- Write their name down. Might be that you have a sign in sheet, go over that regularly or if you meet young people around a school, draw a map with names in places where they usually hang out. If appropriate (like in your small group) get their mobile number and in writing it in, you’re starting to remember their name… could even send a text the next day which is another time you’ll be reminded of their name.
- Friend them on your youth group Facebook page… this is brilliant for seeing their face and their name side by side.
- Notice distinguishing features that you can hang a name from. Memory experts use this as a tool for remembering, like if they wear glasses (hair, scar, nose, eyes), then attach a mental word of their name to the glasses and when you look at them and see their glasses, you imagine their name.
- Give a nickname. Remember their name through a nickname, like rhyming their name or connecting it with something they’ve told you or a memorable event you did together… be mindful not to use the same name for multiple people, it can lose its uniqueness or give nicknames to events that they didn’t find fun… they could see this as bullying.
- Enlist the help of others. Get other leaders to come into a conversation and introduce themselves instead of leaving an awkward silence. Remind other leaders that it’s a team effort to get names right, especially when it’s a group of young people who are new, you’re hardly ever going to get them all right the first go.
- Pray for a better memory! This is purposefully last as it’s usually a last resort and a quick prayer when we see young people in the community and trying to remember their name! But what about praying now that God might grow your capacity to remember names? He can do it, we need to be working at developing our memory too, but why not involve God in this really important area, cause he knows everyone’s names!!
In the end, be confident. Everyone thinks they’re not good at names and all of us forget at times, but being confident in yourself that you’ve done your best to develop these skills will be a massive leap forward in giving someone’s name a try!
